An equation

I was staring out the lousy Sunday morning window that just woke up from sleep. A songbird was singing in the beautiful raga of a morning tune over the slushy green bamboo trees that was playing hide and seek with the rising touch of the golden sun. Engrossed in a world far beyond where my presence actually ought to be, a world of songbird, the black sparrow and the humming pigeons over the gray steps. Suddenly i was brought back to me reality to a shout of some chemical equations and formulas going on. A old man of a good chemistry has devoted his life in a subject far beyond my fragments of imagination and my understanding. A series of chemical formulas that has nothing to do with the sparrow or the sleeping window. I realized that learning chemistry was of more importance than understanding what you want to , a feeling that drives you to learn what you are supposed to. As i tried to scratch out some formulas trying hard to create a balance of all those metals and organic existence, i never realized these equations had a meaning in them and every time , i used to form them out, i could hear a laughter, a mockery. A equation that is far beyond the limits of a small subject called chemistry but an equation that defines an existence. A realization that was still beyond my understanding but as years passed by, the sunday morning bangs me hard again and again and the echoes of that chemistry teacher still rings on my ears. A equation that gives you something , balances something and then what....nothing?

Transformed through time in a moment far away, i lie here basking in the sun of a same sunday afternoon. A mental state full of confusion, a life full of emotions , feelings, complications and the big question mark like that of the seven stars in the sky? The chilled winter breeze was blowing through my hairs and the warmth of the sun, covering me, I realized the meaning of those equation. Perhaps balancing an equation of your life requires something beyond chemistry and that understanding just shook me. An equation of life, love, feelings, sadness, pain, existence, death everything seems to move on in a randomly created periodic table. And sometimes there are equations which are random, cannot be stopped. Once initiated they just moves on to the other part and cannot be controlled. And sometimes these things called catalyst just adds up to the rate. The sheer meaning of equilibrium is winding up my mind as all those Ph values that captured the very acidic and basic sense of my life mixed with one another. A negative logarithmic of my life's existence that was a dependent behavior of love can eject out something? What it is......

Two drops of salty tears, a sudden cry of mankind, a pinch of fear and the a cup of sweetness of love mixed together gives you what?..........
I am still trying to bring out the equation, the end product, a balance........or perhaps that sleppy sunday window and the sparrow will help me to