Bid Adieu

What do we live for in life? What do we stand for, a reason, a cause, someone? But what if that very same reason is snatched away from you and you are left with nothing. Just an empty soul.

People say when God created us, he had reason. Our existence on this earth at this moment is because someone needs us, we live everyday for each other but today i feel nothing. I feel this existence is futile, so meaningless. Always tried to live life for a hope, that ray of light you see at the end of every dark tunnel, that wards off all your fear as you slowly move towards your destiny. But today even that light seem to fade away as you move towards it. It is like chilled winter night, everything is so cold, the color is fading away and the blood oozing out making your lips so pale, your breath so heavy and your body is just another carcass lying in the jungle of wilderness ready to be devoured by the ferocious pack of wolves. Today there will be no mercy as the sharp teeth will bite into the flesh and tear your heart apart, there will be no one to hear your cry because your voice is too feeble, your vision is blurred and smeared by blood. You can feel the thirst of blood, the hunger of flesh and agony of death. The conspiracy has finally worked and you are ambushed by this world lured by the sign of happiness into the dungeon of death. It is really cold here.

Water, water everywhere, not a drop to drink. Crushing the ice into the mouth makes it worse. The throat choking for a drop but the frozen piece of ice just makes it worse. It tears apart your vocal cord and piercing through your cheeks. So much pain, so much agony. Ice and blood makes good combination of red and white, doesn't they? It's like the piece of apple that fell into the earth on one fine day and a bite into it wrote the destiny of mankind. A species was born full of hatred, agony, betrayal and pain. From that day, the earth has been a selfish being. It rips off the skin, whips the blood and suck the warmth, leaving you in the cold wilderness.

I saw the moon rising in the horizon. I could see the werewolf shouting out to the pack. The blood thirsty vampires hunting for prey, and here you lie waiting for your destiny. Fate laughs at you, a shrill voice that laughs at you sarcastically  laughs at your hopes, your dreams, your love, your emotions. Today everything is ripped off and smashed into the ground, never to grow again. A lifeless soul, without a heart, a pale face and moist eyes awaits the destiny. It embraces the fierce claws of the wolf or may be the ruthless bite of the vampire, sucking the remaining blood.

To be gone forever, and never to return.

Godhuli - The dusk

Soon it will be dark here again, the illuminating eyes of the predators hiding behind those bushes, hear the brook that makes its way cutting through the jungle lore and the birds flapping their wings harder for home is too far and it will be dark here again. The addiction of a blindfolded dream, the last supper of intoxicating poppy seeds and the smoke that carves the canvas of a mighty horses carrying the chariot of twilight. There sits the king who gallops through the jungle, the fireflies lighting their way and the sweet melancholy of flutes being played by Krishna down that far village where the dusk light flutters in the light chilled wind of winter, Here comes the darkness again. The baul singers with the hymn past the dark paddy fields, chanting-" Hari din to gelo, sondhye holo, par koro amare" ..."Oh lord! the day has come to an end with the dusk engulfing us, lead us our way"....

A small dream

This is a story of a small bird. A bird that was born ,quite neglected, in the corner of the mango tree from where the morning sunlight flickered. I have seen him limping, chirping day long for water, but no one did even bothered to hear that feeble sound of the bird. I used to run out with a mug of water and keep it by m window to quench his thirst. He had those small wings which he wanted to spread out and fly. He used to look above the blue ocean and dream that one day he would spread his wings in that open heaven, leave home, leave his chirping sound, close his eyes and feel the winds beneath his wings and clouds going past.

One day his dream came true. I saw him as he limped forward and tried to fly, he fell down. He went up ahead, gathered his strength and tried to spread his wings. This time he was at the edge of life where it was just his wings that can take him to his dream land and so he gathered all the strength, closed his eyes and jumped. He kept on flapping his wings , so hard , again and again. He thought he was drowning into a black circle, his eyes was still closed, his heart stopped beating, he could hear the sounds of his wings fluttering heard. And then he slowly opened his eyes. He could not believe what he saw. He saw a world never seen by anyone. His feet was floating in nothing, his wings were going up and down , again and again and in front of him lies the vast start of nothingness, the empty blue ocean where he dreamt to be one day. He could see the white patchy clouds, the red glowing ball of sun. He was happy, he was proud, he was excited, he was amazed. As if all the emotions gathered all at  once to celebrate the success of his first flight.

He flew through the clouds, through that old banyan tree, past the old temple whose bricks stuck out as if laughing in happiness of the flight. And there he went, swooooshhh!!!! Up, Up and Up. He never looked back. That concrete jungle seemed so small, that small branch of the old mango tree, that was his house for so long is just now a small black dot in the vast blue of happiness he was floating.

He dont know how long was he flying. The scorching sun was laughing sarcastically right above him. But who dare to stop this bird, today no one can stop this little small spirit. He kept on flying.

But suddenly, everything in front of him seemed to fade out, his arms became so heavy that he could hardly flap his wings. The wind was suddenly not there, not even the cloud and he was on his own. It was as if the nature has conspired against him all of a sudden. It was just then he started to enjoy his dream and everything seemed to be out of his control. His throat was drying up and his small thumping heart longed for a drop of water. The water for which he used to chirp every morning while he was in that corner. He tried to cry out but nothing came out of his throat.

He broke down completely. God gave him life, gave him desires, showed him dreams, and now he was living his dreams and now it was destined to an end. An end to nothingness. Those blue sky and those white clouds meant nothing to him now. He longed to go back to that small concrete place of his own. And so he cried out to God, ried out loud, "Oh lord! please save me. this is not the dream i want to live, i cant fly anymore, my wings are getting shattered, my heart drying up, my blood draining out. Please let me live, Happiness does not lie in this cloud, but in the place where i can dream, where i can live, where i can see this beauty and aspire it. I used to live in a world of hope, and now everything lies shattered. Let me live my dear lord !"

The lord saw everything and stayed silent. The small bird started crying and gave up. His heart was beating fast, everything started to black out just when he could feel small hot drops of water trickling into his mouth from his eyes. Those were hot salty tear drops which helped him to quench his thirst and kept him alive. The bird got the power to fly back and this small bird returned to where he belong.

It has been a long time i have seen this bird. Many things have changed, that old mango tree lies there no more, instead turned a huge shopping complex. One day i tried to search this bird, but could not find him. Maybe he has found his ultimate reason of happiness or tasted another dream of madness, who knows!. But as i close my eyes today i still can hear the bird chirping for water.

He is so thirsty and so am I.

The Blinding lights - an unknown dream

The clock has been ticking real slow. It's 8:30 pm and the cab has been moving like a snail in the hasty traffic. Halogen lights, blinding headlamps and red glow of rear light has covered every nook and corner of the street. One can see various lights swooshing past at tremendous speed and other moving slowly in their own pace. Even the cars speak their own language.
The light air was blowing softly through my hair as i peeked outside the window. I could see little boxes everywhere extended far far away into the horizon. All they call are home, seems to be like small boxes or may be pigeon hole. Tired lousy cars make their way back to those pigeon hole getting for another day.

Are they really the lights that are flashing by, hurried towards their destination. But where are they moving, i wonder? They are not cars, they are dreams- a dream everyone have since their childhood. There are thousand living dreams in this city and hundreds getting stamped by the crowd everyday, a hundred climbing up those pigeon hole, a hundred swooshing past by for another destination and all that left gets stuck in this wary traffic of the city with blinding lights.

Sometimes a sensation choke you to the core, you feel exhausted and you want to give up but it is the same dream to keep you alive. Is it to make a lot of money? a pigeon hole, a wearily moving car, a lap of luxury? - the answers are plenty, every moving machine in this city has its own story to say. But where does all those dreams go? - Huh, inside the sophisticated concrete buildings, inside the monitor, in the pockets of manager or within the clicks of mouse.

There was a time when there used to rain, and that the smell of earth used to allure me into a different world, i would gaze at the wonder of the nature and get drenched. Today when it rains, i run for the shelter, in an air-conditioned, sophisticated shackles of money, brand and fame.

Sometimes i wonder i miss that feeling of getting drenched in the rain. But life laughs sarcastically at me and says. No dear, every-night i ensure you get the same sensation- but its only hot steamy eyes drenching you again and again.

Another dream -Getting trampled in the footsteps, still limping in the city of light, blinding our eyes.

"Have you seen a firefly !! As soon as it is born ,it runs towards light only to hug death again"